


fall underneath

by bravest



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Clothed Sex, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2165802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravest/pseuds/bravest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon raises his eyebrows (what are you doing?), and Kieren tilts his head (you'll see). They've always had this ease speaking with looks alone, and even if at times Kieren is a mystery to him, even if Kieren is still unpredictable, it's comforting that they can understand each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fall underneath

Simon can't remember ever wanting someone so much. He's no stranger to sex but it's rarely been meaningful, rarely ever been more than just a physical thing. With Kieren it's that and so much more, it's this indescribable knowledge that Kieren is important, that Kieren is the north and he's the compass, that this, between them,  _matters_. Kieren is a spark running under his skin, hitting all the right spots just by  _being_.

When Kieren pushes him down to sit on the bed and starts tugging his shirt off, Simon is nothing but helpful. The sweater messes up his hair a little when he pulls it off, and Kieren smooths it back down with a hand before kissing him, settling his knees on each side of Simon's legs.

It doesn't matter how many times they've kissed by now, Simon lost count long ago, but it never feels any less  _new_ , any less like he's receiving a blessing from a minor god.

What he wouldn't give to actually feel him.

There are other ways; toys, fingers, even their mouths, but it's not the same. Simon wants  _Kieren_ , inside him, pressed as close as they can be. He's felt that desire before, but not this strongly, never something he caught himself thinking about every time someone touched him with a little more insistence than usual.

As much as the compromise they found is nice, sex is a longer, more tedious process then ever before, requiring patience and timing and lots of careful touches and kisses in the right places. He doesn't mind at all, of course -- and they only found out thanks to Simon's slow worship of Kieren one late night, after a particularly intense make out session -- but sometimes all you want is to be pushed against the wall and fucked there, feel the burn of someone inside you leaving you breathless.

Simon's hands are roaming as he riles himself up, Kieren kissing him like every kiss is a challenge. He slides his hands up along Kieren's waist, pushing his shirt up, like he's committing a transgression, touching something so precious, his hands barely brushing along.

He never tires of this, not really, especially not when Kieren makes a noise against his lips, that little irritated one he makes when Simon's not being firm enough, when he wants Simon to touch him more. Kieren's hands find his shoulders and give him a little push, and Simon breaks the kiss, watching as Kieren grabs the bottom of his sweater and pulls it over his head, throwing it aside, his eyes never leaving Simon's.

As much as he can't keep his eyes off of Kieren, Simon never thought he'd find eye contact so hot, but the quirk of Kieren's lips as he pulls his t-shirt off says he's fully aware of the effect it has, which only adds to it.

Now they're both shirtless, and Simon lets his eyes trail down, along Kieren's pale, beautiful skin, reaching to drag his fingers down his chest. When his eyes find Kieren's again, Kieren is looking at him like he's amused, lips pursed in Simon's reverence. They've talked about this before, how sometimes he makes Kieren uncomfortable with how intense he gets, but Kieren doesn't say anything, doesn't stop him -- Simon still tilts his head, asking permission, and Kieren gives a nod. That's all he needs to press a kiss to Kieren's jaw, down his neck, along his collarbone. He presses kisses Kieren can feel the touch of, the press of, but not the warmth of, presses words against skin and flesh and bone, his hands touching as much of him as he can, sliding up along Kieren's unmarred back.

"Simon," Kieren breathes, arching against him, and Simon goes still, his fingers digging into Kieren's back, wanting so badly to feel that familiar rush between his legs, feel hardness between Kieren's, be able to take it into his mouth and drag his hand along it and then feel it inside him. He wants to hear Kieren gasp his name as he presses in, thinks seeing Kieren's face as he comes might be enough for him.

"You alright?" Kieren's arm slides around his neck, and he's up on his knees, kissing the top of Simon's head.

Simon drops his forehead against Kieren's chest, taking in a breath. No, he's not really alright, he's burning up without actually burning up at all, he's frantic and eager for something he can't have. Kieren's finger runs around the hole at the top of his neck, and although their nerves are not what they used to be, he shivers, just a little.

"Simon," Kieren says again, more insistent this time, concerned.

"I'm fine, I just need a minute." 

"What's wrong?"

He hesitates for a second, not sure how fair of him it is to bring this up, if Kieren might get upset about their state if he does. He doesn't think so, not when they've talked about it before, when trying to work around sex without bodily functions.

"I want -- I want you too much, sometimes," he lets out. It's part an admission and part a confession, words he never imagined himself say, before, but everything about what he feels for Kieren tends to be  _too much_. 

"What are you talking about? You have me," Kieren says, sounding amused. Simon looks up at him, blinks when Kieren reaches to brush his hair off his forehead.

"I mean..." Simon trails off. Understanding dawns on Kieren's face, and Simon is quick to add; "But not like -- I want you inside -- "

It's not the most poetic way to say that, but Simon's more worried about Kieren's fingers going still at the back of his neck than he is about his lack of verbose skills when it comes to Kieren Walker. He stops talking then, waiting for some kind of reaction. 

"Oh," Kieren breathes out. He doesn't say anything else, just watches Simon's face, thoughtful. Then he looks away, and Simon hopes he didn't say something wrong, didn't upset him somehow -- maybe Kieren's remembering bad memories, Simon doesn't really know what happened with Rick -- but then Kieren's pushing at his shoulders to make him lie down, moving a knee between Simon's legs to nudge them apart.

Simon raises his eyebrows ( _what are you doing?)_ , and Kieren tilts his head ( _you'll see)_. They've always had this ease speaking with looks alone, and even if at times Kieren is a mystery to him, even if Kieren is still unpredictable, it's comforting that they can understand each other.

Kieren's head is lowered as he runs a hand along Simon's thigh. He looks up at Simon with a little smirk, and Simon takes a stuttering breath when Kieren settles between his legs, aligning their hips, pressing down against him. They're still wearing their pants, and he can't feel the heat, but he feels the weight. The pressure, too, when Kieren rolls his hips against his, slow and very deliberate.

" _Jesus_ ," he hisses, his hands flying to grab Kieren's shoulders. It's not even the friction -- even if it was, neither of them can get erect, so it doesn't make much of a difference -- but it's Kieren, looking down at him with his big eyes, just a little satisfied with himself, moving against him like he would if he was actually fucking him. _  
_

"You alright?" Kieren asks, looking down between them to line himself up better. His eyelashes cast shadows on his cheekbones, and Simon's having difficulty holding himself together, right at this moment.

"Yeah," he manages to breathe out, winded. Kieren is fucking beautiful, and he can hardly string his thoughts together, can only lie there trying to comprehend how someone like him gets someone like that.

Kieren's bringing his knee up, folding it, pushing Simon's leg over his thigh. They fit even better that way, although the pants get in the way of them being completely flush; it doesn't stop Kieren from rocking against him again, still slow, letting out a rough exhale.

"Kieren -- " Simon gasps, his hand grabbing the back of his neck to pull him down for a harsh, open mouthed kiss. They part on what Simon thinks is a breathy exhale of laughter on Kieren's part, but he's not too sure because Kieren thrusts against him and he has to dig his fingers into Kieren's neck and bite the inside of his cheek to stay quiet.

"What are you doing?" He asks, breathing hard.

Kieren's hand is on his thigh, slides to his knee and nudges it so Simon hooks it around his waist. He's nosing at Simon's face, like he's done a hundred times before, but it makes Simon's stomach fill with butterflies.

Simon doesn't get an answer right away. Kieren kisses him, soft, lips parted, and Simon cups his face, his fingers brushing through Kieren's hair. It's just a kiss but Simon is reeling when Kieren pulls away, their lips brushing together as he moves against him.

"You can pretend," Kieren breathes into his mouth, and shit, Kieren is the hottest thing he's ever wanted in his life and they can't fuck the way they want to, but this is close, feels  _good_  even if it's just rutting with nothing really happening. He's still under him, still feels Kieren move his hips down against him, still gets to see the slight furrow of Kieren's brow as he concentrates, can still hear him breathe his name as his hand holds Simon steady by the hip.

He feels ridiculous for being turned on by this, Kieren thrusting against him, but he does pretend, he pretends he can feel him, pretends he's hard between them and if he could sweat he thinks he'd be soaking through the mattress. Maybe it's that he wants it so much, maybe it's that it's Kieren, maybe he's just having one of those days where his nerves feel more alive than ever -- it doesn't really matter. He's a fucking  _mess_.

They can still feel things, and while nothing is quite as sensitive as it once was, it's partly in their heads, too, mostly Simon's, connecting all his memories of touch and sex with this, cranking up the intensity by ten, imagining every roll of Kieren's hips to be explosive. He pretends Kieren is sweaty against him, that he's hot inside him, that when he pulls at Kieren's hips he's pulling him in deeper. 

Their lips meet again, and Simon is arching up against Kieren, letting out a needy keen that makes Kieren pick up the pace, enough that the headboard bangs against the wall, enough that Simon grips the back of Kieren's neck for leverage. His scar snags on the sheets but he doesn't care, can't feel pain anyways.

They move together just right, and Simon thinks sex with Kieren would be the best sex of his life,  _is,_ really, the bet sex of his undead life, the only -- and he stares up at Kieren's face, gasping Simon's name, his jaw clenching, and wonders if it's possible to fall in love with someone more than once. 

It doesn't take half as much as it usually does. They're still mostly clothed, yet Simon feels it, the strange gathering of tension under his skin, the closest thing they've found to an orgasm. He doesn't need air but he's gasping for it, saying Kieren's name, and then it hits him, the subdued wave that's like a shudder through his body, starting in the center and spreading up and down. He goes still, tensing, his grip on the back of Kieren's neck tightening. Kieren drops his forehead against his, brings his hand to his face, slides it along his cheek, and Simon is fucked, Simon's new life might as well end here.

" _Fuck_ ," is all Simon manages as he relaxes, his hand dropping from Kieren's neck as he tries to wrap his mind around what just happened. It kind of shows how much he wants Kieren that the mere thought, the mere simulation of it was enough.

"Well, that worked," Kieren says, moving from between Simon's legs to rest at his side. 

"Yeah," Simon scoffs, too content to really feel embarrassed by the teasing tone in Kieren's voice. Simon watches him, traces the lines of his face, the dark purple of his lips with his eyes. Kieren's hand pats at his chest and leans in to kiss Simon's cheek.

"I didn't think it would. Was afraid you'd think it was silly," Kieren says, quiet against the cusp of Simon's ear.

"No, no -- You didn't -- did you?"

Kieren has more trouble than he does when it comes to reaching that peak, requires more precise work -- Simon has his idea on why, but he asks anyways, in case he missed it when he was too caught up.

Kieren shakes his head, fingers tapping along Simon's collarbone.

"Don't mind. It was still... good. You  _really_  liked that." Kieren leans up on his elbow, and Simon looks at his goofy smile -- and yes, he's definitely falling in love with Kieren Walker again. It's starting to become a daily habit. Simon watches him long enough that Kieren's smile fades, and they stare at each other for a few seconds, Simon's thumb drawing circles on Kieren's waist.

"I did," he breathes finally. "Loved it, just like I love you."

Kieren doesn't break his gaze, doesn't look away, and something shifts in his face before he purses his lips and shakes his head.

"You're awful, Simon," he says, but then they're kissing again, and Simon takes Kieren's face in his hands and spends the next little while showing Kieren how much he loves him in one of the many ways he knows to, breathing verses into his neck, against his stomach and the jut of his hips, against his thighs and trailing fingers along his ribs. He says  _I love you_  with his hands and his mouth, and Kieren breathes his name and says it back with the possessive curl of his arm around him as they fall asleep.

 


End file.
